Button: having the obvious pointed out to me; I get insulted. The fax wire this morning. I had a bit of a breakthrough in that I looked at my stuff there. Probably a thing about being OK if you know enough. I hate to see how like Ron I am. Now I want a drink because I want to feel happy rather than pissed off and a prisoner.
I can't speak for myself; express myself without having that process made wrong; I will escape with gin.
Also when he appears to be telling me what to do I get pissed off at first and then when he continues on his stuff, I do what he says like a good girl (daddy's good little girl trying to avoid the wrath; not rocking the boat;
Example NOW: I know that he is an interfering sod; and yet I say things and allow him to meddle in my affairs and I then get really pissed off...right now.
He's going to check on Rx site every hour. He is probably trying to help...that's what he'd say. I know why I do it. Because he gets angry if I don't let him help me so I'm still trying to avoid his wrath. It's like I have given up my right to do anything for myself in the open. I have to sneak around just like at home...I had to sneak around since I wasn't able to speak up for myself ; it then became too late to stand up later on...because it's a subconscious program.
With Ron I can't win either way. If I'm quiet he complains; if I talk too much he complains. Yikes.
I'm pretty much a slave to Mike too; although I mind much less doing for him; today I will have to face doing something for him that I'd rather put off; I know that I won't though.
Posted by quantumsoup
at 9:14 PM MDT
